Not The Plan

Life has a way of humbling you. One minute you think you have it figured out. You’re going through your day at least thinking you know what’s going on. The next minute, everything you thought you knew flipped upside down.

For me, that was my body literally flipping upside down, feet in the air, crash-landing in the ice and snow.

Remember when you were younger and for some reason you fell? The first thing you did was look around to see if anyone was looking, hoping no one was. These days, if you fall, the first thing you do is an assessment. Can I move? Can I get up? What hurts most? You almost hope someone was looking so they can help.

In my case, the answers were no, no, and everything. No one appeared, but when I yelled, the dog went into guard-dog mode, and I knew his frantic barking would bring reinforcements.

It didn’t take long to narrow the worst pain down to my left shoulder. The ground was a slick slab of ice, and there was no way I could get up. Somehow, Gary was able to get me off the icy ground and into the car.

Several X-rays and four doctor consultations later, we have an impact fracture of the humerus near the shoulder socket. They’ve estimated eight weeks of recovery. A week in, we may have found the right combination of pain meds and anti-nausea meds to allow me to sleep and be awake without choosing between severe pain and a hangover.

I admit I am a baby when it comes to pain. I am not tough and don’t handle it well. My left arm is supposed to remain firmly at my side, no raising, lifting or swinging. Any variation from that is instantaneous, sharp pain. Now imagine the things in your normal day that become impossible. Washing, putting on deodorant, combing your hair, getting dressed—the list is endless. That’s humbling.

Gary has been wonderful, and I could not make it without him. But it’s really hard to be a ‘strong, independent woman’ when I can’t even open my own Dr. Pepper.